What I Go Through Everyday

So I was introduced to the word gay in fourth grade. Everyone said it, but no one knew what it meant. That is when everything started. So fourth grade went along and I knew kids were making fun of me, but I never cared, I lived in my own world.

Then came fifth grade, the harassment got worse, I found out what the word meant. I didn’t let it get to me, I knew my friends would support me and always be around.

Sixth grade I guess is when everything really hit in, I was in a different hallway, I was in different classes with different kids, I felt alone. Kids openly laughed at me, pointed me out in a crowd, refused to sit by me at events, but I always had that special friend to be there.

Seventh grade, when you move closer to the gym. I learned that my best friend moved school over the summer, so I basically had to start all over again, I was alone for the second time in 3 years. Kids started asking questions, they would always ask, “Are you gay, do you like boys?” Then one of my friends came out, she told us all that she was LGBT, she told everyone, I am proud of her for standing up for herself, being open about who she is, I love her so much. Well, at that time, I was so used to denying what people called me that I denied her as my friend, I quit talking to her, I tried ‘converting’ her to something she isn’t, and I am sorry even today at how I treated her.

Eighth grade came and I was still denying what people called me. I became very bigoted, I was probably thought of as the most hypocritical Christian anyone could imagine. I was so worried about how others’ lived their own life, that I was failing my God, I failed to spread his mission of love and peace that whole year. I thought I was so good.

The summer between elementary and high school is when I really studied religion and found out what I believed in and who I am.

Ninth grade, when you are the lowest of the low. I didn’t feel that way, I felt on top of the world, I discovered who I am and what I believe in. That is at least how I felt the first day. Lunch hit and I had probably heard the word ‘gay’ fifty times. Later on in the year, I was actually asked probably once or twice a day if I was gay. Then, I was asked, in front of a teacher, and these were the exact words, “Do you have a boyfriend?” The girl embarrassed me in front of the whole class, but I couldn’t say anything. The teacher obviously didn’t care, and nothing happened to the girl.

 That is my life, that is what I get called every day, that is what I and millions of other teens go through. Please, the next time you want to say something is shitty, say it is shitty. Gay is okay, and always be yourself.

~Joseph